Thursday, July 19, 2012

Wedding Bullies

Ladies (and gents! Can't forget you!) can I offer you some unsolicited advice? When it comes to your wedding... listen to your own ideas, thoughts, wants. What do I mean exactly? It means that while, yes, you would love to hear your mother's fabulous ideas on flowers or your bridesmaid's idea of what a flower girl should wear, you should ultimately take your own desires into account.

This blog is about truth. It's not a marketing scheme. I don't write it because I think it will ultimately get me more business. I write it because a.) I love pretty things and in turn love to share said pretty things with the world and b.) believe wholeheartedly that every bride should have the best day of her life on her wedding...whether she hires me or not. And with that comes a heaping dose of honest reality.

With that said, let me elaborate on the before mentioned topic.

First, mothers. You want to please them, yes? Especially when it's your groom's mother! You want her to think you are God's gift to her sweet little boy and how better to show that than to heed all of her unwarranted wedding advice. She's a little harsh? It's okay, you can handle it. Sure. You can handle it until you look around and realize that your wedding isn't really your wedding at all. And then you're an unholy mess of a girl who is completely unhappy with her wedding. No bueno, guys!

Then there are bridesmaids. Your best gals! They would never step on your toes or hurt your feelings. That is unless they feel that your choice in bridesmaid dress is horrendous or're not having an open bar? Unheard of! What do you mean we're not going to Vegas for the bachelorette party? I could go on but I'm pretty sure you all get the bitchy innuendo I'm trying to get across.

I'm writing this because I have some brides who are being bullied. That's what that is, plain and simple. People projecting their own wants and needs on to their friend or daughter, who's not completely emotionally stable at the time (because let's face it, emotions abound when you are engaged!). And I've had enough. I love my brides. I want each an every one of them to have the day of their dreams. I'll do my utmost to make sure that happens. The one thing I can't control are actions like the one I mentioned above.

So, closing argument is two part:

Women in each bride's life: Be kind. Be aware of your words and your actions. Know that this time is not your own. Sure, give advice (when asked) and always, always give support. Never make situations worse. The bride does not need fuel added to her fire. Use phrases like "it's all going to work out" or "we'll take care of it" or even "I LOVE everything you've chosen". Just be decent to your bride. Do not forget that she is a woman just like you.

To all of the brides out there: Know that you are worthy of having an opinion about your own wedding. Know that you can say "no"...multiple times if need be! Know that just because you don't agree with your future-mother-in-law about the seating arrangement does not make you the daughter-in-law from hell. It actually makes you a pretty cool-ass confident woman. And everybody loves confidence. You can take that to the bank.

And I shall now step off of my soap box. The end.